Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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