You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
