I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
