Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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