How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
