ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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