it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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