While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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