Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I looked at my own cervix.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
