hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
