so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I want is dick and wine.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
