Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Two words: blizzard sex
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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