I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
