Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
