i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
