First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
