Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
