I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
