You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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