I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
