how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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