chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
