even my farts smell like vagina
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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