I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
