That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
