You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
