I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
