Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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