I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
