I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You pole danced in your parka.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
