Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
