Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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