i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
