i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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