Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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