Do you still have your period?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
