Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My vagina just recognized that song.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
