ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
