i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
