Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Randomize
