thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
be right there i have to get my cape
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
