I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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