Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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