I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
