his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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