Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
