don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
