Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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