Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
