Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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