You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize