Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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