someone get that fucking seahorse.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
