I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
