he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He shit in the fireplace
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize