I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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