Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
