I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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