I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize