Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
